Do you think it’s okay to cry at the office? Why or why not?

There’s no doubt that emotions can get the better of us on the job, but is it ever okay to show those emotions in the workplace? Well, a new survey sought to find the answer to that very question.

A new poll by Accountemps finds that 45% of people say they’ve cried at work, and it seems most bosses are okay with it, on occasion.  When asked 44% of CFOs say crying in the office is acceptable as long as it isn’t something that happens every day. However,  26% say it’s never okay because people will perceive an employee who cries as weak or immature.

If an employee is crying an abnormal amount, it may seem uncomfortable to approach them. The easy thing to do would be to assume a back story for that individual that lets you off the hook from having to talk with him or her. However, if at all possible, approach that employee and talk with them about the situation through the lense of compassion. You could be missing out are an easy opportunity to really connect and build trust  with your employee. 

Obviously, if at all possible, it is always better to control your emotions. However, tears aren’t the only emotion folks can express on the job. This same survey found that 52% of workers have lost their temper at the office.  There is not a good black and white answer to the "crying" questions. I think in this day in age; it is essential for managers to lead by example and, give people grace when needed. 

Career Killing Words Part 1: BUT

In my experience of coaching executives and managers, I’ve noticed a language that separates the great leaders from the average leaders. Here is a list of words that you should eliminate from your vocabulary if you want to be a truly effective leader.

But: The word “but” is the Great Discredit-ter.  Anytime you use the word “but” you automatically discredit everything you said leading up to that word. A trick that I read was instead of using the word “but” use the word “and” here’s an example

BAD: "Tom, I appreciate the hard work you’ve been doing lately. All your projects have turned out really great but, I have some changes I want you to think about."

Better: "Tom, I appreciate the hard work you’ve been doing lately. All your projects have turned out really great and, I have some changes I want you to think about."

Using the word “and” doesn’t discount the good that the employee has done, however, it does make it easier to segue into a new conversation about change. Do not tag-on to a compliment with a "but" that will automatically have the person you are speaking with become defensive. Instead, make you compliment complete and genuine and then more one to the other items that you need to address with that person.